BELVEDERE ROYALS
PLAYERS PROFILE 2008/9 SQUAD
BILL “THE CAT” SPURLING
GOALKEEPER
ELECTRICIAN
SINGLE
LIKES; CLUBBING, HOME VIDEO, MALE SKIN CARE PRODUCTS
BEST KEEPER IN THE LEAGUE ? DEBATABLE, BUT WE THINK SO!
SCORED FROM A GOAL KICK AND SAVED A PENALTY IN THE SAME MATCH, ALSO SCORED ON HIS STRIKERS DEBUT….LEGEND !
JOE “MIGHTY” SANDFORD
DEFENDER
ENGINEER
MARRIED
LIKES; SALAD, WEIGHTWATCHERS, LOW CALORIE YOGHURT
SO SMOOTH IN DEFENCE HE HAS “RYTHYM IS A DANCER TATTOOED ON HIS CHEST. GLIDES WITH THE BALL LIKE FRED ASTAIRE IN SHIN PADS
JON “THE CHAIRMAN” ARNOLD
DEFENDER
RETIRED
MARRIED
LIKES; SEAFOOD, GUINESS, ANYTHING WITH ANT & DEC IN IT
“STROLLER”; COLLOSOS AT THE BACK AND A GIANT UP FRONT; OUR VERY OWN JOHN TERRY BUT WITH A TIGHTER SHIRT. STOPS EM AT ONE END AND SCORES EM AT THE OTHER
STEVE “STATTO” WORTH
DEFENDER
PRINTER
MARRIED
LIKES; TOTTENHAM, SWITZERLAND, DREAMTEAMS & STRICTLY COME DANCING
MR DEPENDABLE; A ROCK AT THE BACK. ROYALS BEST LOOKING DEFENDER BY FAR AND ALSO ON THE SCORE SHEET THIS SEASON
LEE “SONIC” WINDHAM
DEFENDER
PART TIME BUILDER
GIRLFRIEND
LIKES; FAGS, HAIR GEL, THE BALLET & NANDO,S
SONIC, NOT COS HE,S BLESSED WITH SPEED BUT HAS THE WILDEST HAIRCUT IN THE LEAGUE. PLAYS WITH A SMILE OUR LEE. OUR MOST IMPROVED PLAYER AND ONE OF THE FIRST NAMES ON THE TEAM SHEET
CHRIS “ MR MALIA” LANGLEY
DEFENDER/MIDFIELD
RESTING
SINGLE
LIKES; FANNY, BACON SANDWICHES & LAGER, COLLECTING JANE GOODY MEMORABILIA
BUILT LIKE A BRICK SHITHOUSE BUT A BIT MORE MOBILE; QUALITY PLAYER WITH NEVER SAY DIE ATTITUDE.
DECEPTIVELY SKILLFUL AND A KEEN EYE FOR GOAL
ALAN “ HARIBO” KNUCKY
MIDFIELD
ROOFER AND FULL TIME LOUNGE LIZARD
SOOOOO SINGLE
LIKES; HOT TUBS, RUGBY, IVORY LOUNGE, DOMINO,S PIZZA, BIRDS WITH SMALL HANDS
WITH HIS LOW CENTRE OF GRAVITY AL COVERS THE PITCH AT GREAT SPEED, ENTERTAINS AND ALWAYS LOOKS TO EXCITE THE CROWD WITH A SPECTACULAR GOAL OR A DRIBBLE AND CAN THROW THE BALL FROM WOOLWICH TO LEWISHAM WITHOUT A BOUNCE
NICK “SKIP” WINDHAM
CAPTAIN/MIDFIELD
PART TIME BUILDER/BEER TASTER
ENGAGED
LIKES; PIES, PIE SANDWICHES, PIE & CHIPS
OUR MIDFIELD GENERAL; OPENS UP DEFENCES WITH HIS CAN OPENER RIGHT FOOT. DEAD BALL SPECIALIST AND PENALTY KING
ROB “THE TAN” GILL
ROOFER
MIDFIELD
ENGAGED
LIKES; BODY WAXING, MIRRORS, BABY GAP T SHIRTS, CASUALTY
OUR MIDFIELD DYNAMO, MAKES UP THE TEAM GOAL TALLY WITH HIS FAIR SHARE OF VALUABLE GOALS, ON HIS DAY WILL COVER EVERY BLADE OF GRASS ON THE PITCH. CAPABLE OF WINNING GAMES ON HIS OWN
ADAM “RICCO” RICHARDSON
MALE MODEL/BRICKLAYER
WINGER
MARRIED
LIKES; HIS NEW BABY, FAGS, SLEEPING LATE
OUR FLYING WINGER, RICCO THE ROCKET HAS A DECEPTIVE TURN OF SPEED AND HAS THE ABILITY TO GO ROUND ANY DEFENDER IF HE GETS ENOUGH OF THE BALL, SUPERB SUPPLIER OF CROSSES AND CAPABLE OF SCORING THE GOAL OF THE SEASON
TERRY “ OUR ELI “ GRAYSON
WINGER/MIDFIELD
CUSTOMS OFFICER
ENGAGED
LIKES; GOING THROUGH TRAVELLERS BAGS, LEGO CARS, DONKEY KONG AND FAGS
OUR ELI CAN NIP IN AND STEAL A GOAL WHEN LEAST EXPECTED, ADDED A BIT OF “BATTLE” TO HIS GAME AND IS FAST ENOUGH TO BE EFFECTIVE IN BOTH BOXES
MIKEY “PIKEY” ISTEAD
MIDFIELD
COUNTS MAGGOTS IN A FISHING SHOP
LONELY
LIKES; SIPPING LAGER LIKE A GIRL, GETTING BOOKED, BARMAIDS
HARDEST TACKLE IN THE LEAGUE, HARDEST SHOT IN THE LEAGUE, CAN THREAD THE BALL THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE. ON HIS DAY CAN WIN A GAME ON HIS OWN. ALMOST THE COMPLETE PLAYER
SAM “MR ROYALS” ALLEN
MIDFIELD/DEFENCE
ELECTRICIAN
MARRIED
LIKES; FULL ENGLISH, FOR SALE SIGNS, HIS MATES & PIES
SAM IS ROYALS THROUGH AND THROUGH; ALWAYS AVAILABLE AND ALWAYS DEPENDABLE. NOTHING STANDS IN THE WAY OF SAM AND HIS ROYALS, EXCEPT MAYBE A FULL ENGLISH.
YET TO SCORE BUT WHEN HE DOES……..
DAVE “FISH” HOPKINS
SUPER SUB
P.H.D
WAITING FOR MISS RIGHT
LIKES; FOLLOWING THE CHAIRMAN, SAMBUCA, NIGHTS OUT WITH ALAN & BILLY AT THE IVORY
THE FISH NEVER MISSES A GAME AND IS ALWAYS READY AND AVAILABLE TO STEP INTO ANY POSITION AND GIVE 100%; SUPPORTS HIS TEAM IN A BEATBOX STYLEE
MATTY “HATRICK” KNUCKY
STRIKER
SCORES GOALS
MARRIED
LIKES; SCORING GOALS, FACE STUBBLE, PIERCINGS AND FAGS
THIS IS AS NEAR TO A GOAL SCORING MACHINE AS YOUR GOING TO GET, ALREADY SETTING RECORDS FOR HATRICKS SCORED IN A SEASON. NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE AT HIS ABILTY AND SINGLE MINDEDNESS WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING AND GETTING GOALS. LIVES FOR IT !!!
SHAH “FELAFEL” HASSAN
STRIKER
ESTATE AGENT
MARRIED
LIKES; COLLECTING KIT, WATCHING EASTENDERS AND HOLLYOAKS, SELLING HOUSES
MOST AMAZING FIRST TIME TOUCH AND CONTROL, CAN SHOOT FROM ANY RANGE AND BRINGS OTHER PLAYERS INTO THE GAME WITH HIS HOLD UP PLAY, BRILLIANT GOALS AND ASSISTS.
OUR TURKISH DELIGHT
DAVE “BANKO” BANKS
CLUB SECRETARY/UTILITY PLAYER
LAB TECHNICIAN
MARRIED
LIKES; ATTENTION FROM CHRIS LANGLEY, MARKS & SPENCERS WEEKENDS IN PUERTO BANUS AND GANG TATTOOS
DAVE CAN COUNT WHICH IS AN ADVANTAGE OVER THE REST OF THE TEAM AND IS WHY HE,S CLUB SECRETARY. TOTALLY DEDICATED TO THE ROYALS AND KEEPS US TICKING OVER. THE PLAYERS LOOK AFTER THE POINTS, BANKO LOOKS AFTER THE PENNIES
MARTIN “THE GAFFER” WINDHAM
GUVNOR
MANAGER
MARRIED
LIKES; HIS MRS, HIS KIDS, HIS DOG, HIS GUINESS, HIS CHARLTON, HIS ROYALS
BROUGHT THE ROYALS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE OF LEAGUE AND CUP SILVERWARE AND WILL LIFT THE CUPS THE REST OF US WHEN WE WIN THEM.
LEGEND